Fate of life
by Saenda
Summary: AU 'Why? Why couldn't you tell me before' Fai looked away. 'Because... Because I didn't want to hurt you.' Horitsuba gakuen, KuroxFai CHAP 4 IS UP
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer : **All characters belong to CLAMP, especially since I doubt I'll make new ones.

**Editor** : And again, a big thanks to Morningstripe for correcting all my mistakes!

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**The Fate of Life**

**Prologue:**

"Kuro-chi?"

The ninja turned his head to look at him. "What?" he asked in a semi-sleepy tone. They were in bed and, by the looks of it, one was almost asleep.

Kurogane held the blond closer and played with his hair.

Fai looked at his lover's face, shivering lightly at the contact of the strong hand. Though he was sleepy, he had the same indifference he had every time he looked at him. The again, not completely indifferent. Fai could still see the tenderness and love hidden in those crimson eyes.

Fai sighed deeply. How was he going to do this? He didn't even know how to start or how to continue. Heck, he didn't even know what to say! It was so... hard!

But he had to tell him. He had to, or else things would get bad. But... but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Facing Kurogane with things that concerned him was already hard! But this was far worse then everything else! Why?

Because he would hurt his lover.

And the fact that he would hurt Kurogane and make him worry was too much to bear. Because Fai knew that if Kurogane worried about him, it would lead to nothing but pain for the both of them, especially for his lover. And that was the last thing he wanted.

But... he still had to tell him! Because... if he found out by someone else, he would be even more hurt and he would be angry– oh so angry! And again, Fai didn't want that.

"I...I..."  
But strangely, the words wouldn't come out of his throat, wouldn't go through his lips. They were stuck there, painful, unbearable.

"You what?" asked Kurogane, looking at the blond, a little puzzled.

Fai lowered his gaze slowly and grabbed Kurogane's shirt, holding it tightly. It ached! It ached to make a choice, to not know what to do! And, in both choices, Kurogane would be hurt, really hurt.

The latter frowned at the sight before him. "Are you okay?"

Ugh! He was already worrying! Hearing that made Fai unsure. If he worried for a little down that he couldn't even be sure of, Fai didn't want to see him after he heard what he had to say.

"Nah, don't worry. I just... can't sleep."

Fai gave one of his sweet smiles that he hoped really said, _"Don't worry, I'm really all right!"_ Because it was official. Fai couldn't say it and he wouldn't say it. Well... not tonight, at least.

The smile seemed to reassure the sportsman a bit and he gave a small smile in return. Then, he slowly pressed his lips against the blond's. "Don't worry," he said after. "I'm sure you'll be able to sleep soon enough."

Fai smiled again and looked away. He had to figure out how he was going to hide it until he was ready to tell Kurogane. How he was going to...

... Hide his sickness. Hide the times he'll be at the hospital. Hide everything.

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**A/N : **Well, I hope you liked it! I know it was short, but that was just the prologue. I promise the chapters get longer! 


	2. Happy Birthday

**Disclaimer **: I do not own Tsubasa, nor Horitsuba gakuen. They all belong to Clamp

Thanks to my beta reader morningstripe!**  
**

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**Chapter I: Happy Birthday**

The room was completely silent; no one was saying a word. Every student was working in their books, in the most complete of silences, without a single one of them disturbing it.

Only one of them seemed to wait eagerly for time to pass, despite all the work that was waiting before him. And it wasn't because he was finished, far from it.

The teacher looked, for a thousandth time, as the hands of the clock moved slowly and always at the same rhythm. He didn't dare to knock his fingers on his desk, fearing it would disturb the concentration of the students, but his body was screaming with impatience because of the agony that was waiting. He couldn't wait to get out!

Weird, wouldn't you say, that a teacher would more eager to leave than his students. But that's because there was a particular reason. And this reason was because today was a special day! A day that he wouldn't miss for anything in the world and a day that he had prepared so much, it couldn't be anything but perfect!

Today was Kuro-sama's birthday!

Then, after a while, the bell finally rang the end of the class and there was the scraping of the chairs and the noise of the students as they got up. In a hubbub, they gathered their books and exited calmly the classroom while chatting with their friends.

The teacher gave a relieved sigh and it was his turn to get up. While he stretched from the lack of moving, he told himself, "_Finally!_" His workday was over, there were no more classes, and he and Kuro-sama were free– especially since there weren't any reunions that evening, fortunately.

Once all the students were out, he took the same path as them and locked the classroom door behind him. Humming a little birthday tune, smile on his face, he was about to go get the other teacher, but someone stopped him by starting him.

"You seem really happy, Fai-sensei!"

A hand placed on his chest, heart beating really fast, he turned with a smile to face the person who called him. "Does it shows that much, Sakura-chan?"

She returned his smile and nodded. "Yes. Today, you seemed more happy than usual. And in a real hurry too!" she added, laughing.

He gave an embarrassed smile. "Well, actually yes. I have something scheduled with my dear Kuro-sensei, even though Kuro-sensei doesn't know it yet."

"Oh, a surprise?" exclaimed Sakura with shining eyes.

"Shush! Not too loud!" softly answered Fai, a finger in front of his mouth.

The girl slapped her hand lightly on her mouth and blushed slightly. "I'm so sorry, Fai-sensei!"

"It's ok." He smiled gently to reassure her. He then looked at his watch. "Well, I'll be going, then!" he said. "I wouldn't want that, tonight, Kuro-sama went home without me! And everyone knows that he does that almost all the time."He waved goodbye to Sakura and left in a rush in the halls.

Halfway there, he stopped, one hand resting on the wall. His head had started to pound a little and his vision was blurring and doubling.

Putting a head on his forehead, he breathed slowly and deeply, than shook his head. His vision became clear again and his headache was gone. With a relieved sigh, he continued his way to the teacher's lounge, but this time walking. _"I must have had a hard time getting to sleep these days because of the excitement. Or I'm simply too excited... I have to calm down."_

He finally arrived in the teacher's lounge, at the other end of the school. That was the bad thing about the location of the science classes. Sometimes, his breaks were even shortened!

Entering the room, he searched with his eyes massive form that was the gym teacher. He found him immediately, sitting on a chair, next to the Seishirou, the English teacher. They were talking together, seeming to have a slightly serious conversation, but Fai didn't care. His smile came back and he came forward them.

"Yes, we will have to do something about tha – aaaah!" Kurogane was cut by Fai, who had jumped and thrown his arms about his neck. "Idiot! What the hell are you doing?" he cried, recovering the stability of his chair which had almost fallen on the ground because of the dash that had taken the science teacher.

The others in the room laughed at the scene, but did nothing else. There were simply just accustomed at those kinds of things from the two of them, especially the blond.

"Kuro-chi! You waited for me!" joyfully exclaimed the science teacher.

Kurogane growled. "I didn't wait for you, I was simply not gone, that's all. Especially since I was in a _serious_ conversation with someone!" he answered dryly. "And it's Ku-ro-ga-ne, for the love of–!"

Fai made a sad face, like the ones a beaten dog would do. False tears begin to form in the corner of his eyes, ready to fall down his cheeks. "Waaaaah! Kuro-wan is so mean to me! He doesn't care about me at all!"

Kurogane sighed, discouraged. "You moron! Do you really have to do this here and now?" He looked around him and saw the mocking expressions of everyone looking at them. They were laughing! They were all laughing at him! That was too much!

"Are you going to shut the hell up if I told you that, yes, I waited for you?"

Fai stopped his exaggerated act and raised his eyes, full of hope. He nodded vividly to answer to his question.

Kurogane was even more discouraged. "_Fine_! Yes, I waited for you!"

Fai let out a cry of joy and wrapped his arms around Kurogane's neck. The latter, target of all the gazes, lowered his head in a sign of hopelessness. "Why me?" he muttered softly.

Fai let go of him and got up. Tending his hand to the gym teacher, he said, "Come on, we have to go! I've got something for you!"

The other, sceptic, didn't take the hand in front of him. "And what is it? Another one of your casual eccentricities?"

Fai's smile only grew wider. "You'll see! I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise! Now come!" He shook his hand lightly, meaning he insisted.

However, Kurogane didn't really like the idea. "No way, I'm not coming," he declared.

Fai lowered his arm and the same hurt face he had done seconds ago came back. Seeing that, Kurogane got up quickly. "All right, all right! We're going!"

"Yay! Come on, hurry!" Fai took his lover's hand and led him out of the room. Once out of the room and being far in the hall, Kurogane could hear the laugh that had just burst out in the teacher's lounge.

It was always the same story...

They came out of the school and Fai continued to lead Kurogane, without letting go of his hand. The latter sighed. "Where are you leading me to?" he asked, almost moaning.

"You'll see!" exclaimed Fai with mischief and with a teasing smile.

That made the sportsman shiver, but he still followed his lover. He was forced too, anyways.

They came out of the school playground and continued to walk. They didn't have a car since they lived close enough from school.

Finally judging that Kurogane wouldn't escape, Fai let go of his hand. Kurogane than placed himself beside Fai so he could see him better while walking.

Thinking about the day, Kurogane remembered that Fai had arrived late at school this morning. Suddenly intrigued, he turned his head to the blond and asked, "Say, you arrived late this morning. It was actually one of the rare times you weren't coming to school with me. You still don't want to tell me why?"

The concerned one shook his head. "Nope, but you'll see soon enough, don't worry!" he answered with a mysterious smile on his lips.

Frowning, Kurogane wondered what it was that the other teacher was plotting. And, anyways, why the heck was he plotting something? Was there anything special today?

Hmm... not that he could think of, no. So why was he preparing something? A surprise moreover…

They arrived in front of their apartment and Fai stopped. The gym teacher looked at the building with impatience. "Why are you stopping? Didn't you want to bring me somewhere? Or did you forgot something here?"

"Silly Kurogane! We have arrived!"

This made Kurogane growl in frustration. "What? You made that scene so you could just _take me back home_"

Fai giggled. "Be patient Kuro-pi! The surprise's inside!"

Kurogane raised one's eyebrow. "What surprise?"

Fai moved his forefinger from left to right in front of him. "Han, han, han! I won't tell you that, will I? I would spoil the surprise!" He headed for the stairs. "Now, I need you to wait here like a good doggy! I'll come back soon."

"Pardon me? You want me to stay outside in front of my own house? There's no way I'm doing that!" he exclaimed. "_And I'm not a dog!_"

"But... Kuro-wanwan! My surprise isn't totally ready yet! I wouldn't want to spoil it!" Fai made a sad face.

"No way. I don't care about this stupid surprise! I don't want to wait here like a dog, which I am _not_!"

"But, but, but, but..." stuttered Fai, starting to look like a beaten dog again.

"Raah! What did I do to earn that?" he growled. He then sat on the first step of the stairs, grumbling. Seeing that Fai wasn't moving, he exclaimed, "Well, come on! I'm staying here, so you better hurry up!"

Fai's smile came back on his lips and he continued up the stairs. "Thanks, Kuro-chi! I'll come back as soon as I'm finished!"

Kurogane sighed and rested his chin in his hand. Seriously, what was going on in this idiot's head to even prepare something like that? It wasn't like it was an important day!

No?

Frowning, the Japanese started to think. And if, on second thought, there really was a special occasion? And if Kurogane had simply totally forgot?

With a guilty feeling inside of him, he thought harder. What could it be that was so special? Was it Fai's birthday? Oh no! If it really was his birthday, he was a dead man! He hadn't even bought a present!

Hmm... no, thinking about it over, the thought was to be put aside. Fai was preparing a surprise for him. He wouldn't do that the day of his birthday, unless he was totally crazy.

Although it was the case...

Anyways, the option was still to be put aside.

So, if it wasn't Fai's birthday, what else was there? Valentine's Day? No, he hadn't had seen any crazy girl running around in the school so they could give chocolate to their boyfriends. And, anyways, they weren't in winter.

So it was certainly not Christmas either– even he would have known if they were.

So what was it?

And it hit him. It must have already been a year that they had been together!

Realising that, the guilty feeling made itself clearer. He had completely forgot, he hadn't had buy something for Fai and, now, the latter was making him a surprise. Oh man! What was he going to do?

Panicking, he looked at his watch. At this time, the stores must have been all closed. Just his luck!

And only to make his misfortune even worse, it started to rain. And not only some little drops, no! It was bucketing down! Sighing, he buried his head in his hands. Fai would really hate him for that.

After a while, the latter had still not come to get Kurogane and he was now soaking wet. The more the minutes past, the more Kurogane was nervous and the more he felt guilty. How was he going to forgive himself to his lover?

The door finally opened behind him and Kurogane turned quickly.

"Fai, I –"

"Ah, Kuro-rin, I'm so sorry! I made you wait under the rain! Come on, fast!"

Kurogane climbed the stairs slowly, head lowered, and entered inside the apartment. Fai placed a warm towel on his head and proceeded in drying at least his hair and the rest of the clothes that were too soaked. That done, he said, "Go change before you catch a cold! Come in the kitchen after that."

Kurogane softly nodded and headed for their room. Fai looked at him go, a little puzzled. "Weird, he didn't even yell at me for leaving him outside that long. I hope there's nothing wrong with him!" He shrugged and went into the kitchen to wait for his lover.

Once changed in dry clothes, Kurogane also went in the kitchen, as asked, but was stopped by what was awaiting for him: a real candle-light dinner, with everything that was the most romantic! The room was absorbed in darkness except for the light dispersed by the candles on the table and counter. And Fai had prepared a typical dinner: fondue.

It was definitely their anniversary.

Fai placed himself in front of him and wrapped his arms around his neck. "Kuro-chi! Say, do you like it? I prepared everything especially for you!"

The concerned one looked again at the kitchen with guilty look. How was he going to forgive himself to his lover after all that?

Fai seemed to notice something was wrong since he asked "Kuro-rin? You don't like?"

Kurogane lowered his head to look at him again. "Oh no! I love it! Everything's perfect!" he answered quickly.

"Then why do you look so sad?"

Kurogane sighed. Really, he didn't want to disappoint his lover and it was what he was about to do. "Well...I...I have nothing for you..."

Fai blinked for an instant, not seeming to understand what the other had said. Than, he burst out laughing.

Kurogane, insulted to be laughed at him like that when he was trying to forgive himself, frowned. "What's so funny?" he asked roughly.

"What you just said!" answered Fai. "Seriously, I wonder why you would want to offer me something!"

Surprised, Kurogane asked "But isn't it our anniversary?"

Fai laughed even more. "Kuro-chi, you have it all wrong!" he declared. "_Our_ anniversary is in two months! Today, it's _your_ anniversary! Your _birthday_! Don't tell me you really actually forgot?"

Kurogane, realising his mistake, blushed in shame. How could he have forgotten his own birthday like that? It was just... stupid!

To make it up to himself, he declared, "I... It was only to test you!"

Fai made a teasing smile. "Riiight. You wanted to test me after all that I did for you. Must I show you the kitchen again?" he said, pointing the room behind him. Kurogane growled and looked away.

"Pardon me? I didn't quite understand what you said," said Fai.

"Nothing!" answered Kurogane. And, to prevent Fai from adding more, he kissed him gently. The latter answered right away, while pulling himself closer against his lover.

"Thank you," whispered Kurogane in Fai's ear when they broke apart.

The latter smiled gently. "You're welcome. Now come, we should eat while it's still warm."

And, on that, they sit down and started to eat. They then had a really romantic evening.

* * *

The next day, Fai was woken up by something really uncomfortable. Opening his eyes slowly, he soon realized that his head hurt. Moaning a little, he rubbed his eyes and then sat up on the bed. Putting a hand on his forehead, he rubbed it to, hoping his headache would go away. Fortunately, it did. He sighed, realizing it was the second in two days. He hoped he wasn't coming up with a cold.

Fai looked beside him and saw his lover still sleeping. Smiling softly, he could only think that he was just so adorable.

Kurogane was completely different from when he was awake. His expression was serene and he had a small, very small, smile on his face. But even though it was tiny, it was still there and it always made Fai smile in return.

Throwing back his head, he looked at the ceiling, deep in his thoughts. He was thinking about Kurogane, about how he loved him so dearly, about how he didn't want him to ever suffer, about how he didn't want this life to ever end. He liked it this way and he really hoped that nothing would come ruining this.

He started when he felt a hand caressing his cheek. Looking down, he saw Kurogane smiling softly at him, still looking half-asleep. "Good morning," he said quietly.

"Good morning," answered the other.

The latter smirked and then turn over to place himself above Kurogane. The gym teacher looked at him, grinning a bit. "Since when are you on top?" he joked.

"Since I decided to!" answered the science teacher, in the same tone. But, as he said that, he was pushed aside, thrown on the mattress, and Kurogane was then on top of him.

"I don't think so," his grin widened.

Fai pouted and lightly and repetitively hit Kurogane's chest. "It's no fair! No fair, no fair, no fair!"

"Well, life's not fair! So get used to it!" teased Kurogane.

"Humph..." Fai crossed his arms and looked away with a half-angry, half-disappointed look. The Japanese sighed and then kissed softly Fai's neck. The latter shivered at the contact but still refused to look at him.

Kurogane sighed before having an idea. Smirking, he started to tickle the man in front of him. Fai, being very ticklish, shivered and started to laugh. "No... no, Kuro-chi... stop! D...Don't!"

But his attacker refused to do so and continued his attack.

However, it quickly gave Fai another headache and he continued to plead Kurogane to stop even more. "Please, Kurogane, stop!" he said in an almost painful voice.

At the sound of his full name, Kurogane frowned and stop automatically. Fai was still shivering though, and he was catching his breath. "What's wrong?" asked the man on top, worried.

To hide the pain, Fai sat up and made a fake grin. "Oh, nothing. It was just a way to make you stop tickling me."

Kurogane, hearing that, gave a glower at Fai. "Idiot!" he hissed before getting up and getting ready for the day. Fai followed him with a painful look. He had made Kurogane angry, but he didn't want him to know that his head hurt. It surely was nothing at all anyway...

He got up also and got dressed before going to the kitchen and preparing breakfast for the both of them. He was sad though because he knew Kurogane wouldn't want to talk to him for a good part of the day.

When Kurogane got out of the house and slammed the door, Fai sighed. This wasn't going to be a good day at school.

He headed for the pharmacy in the bathroom and took some painkillers. His headache was still there and it really started to be unbearable.

It was then his turn to exit the house and he got to school, hoping the headache would be gone soon and that Kurogane wouldn't be mad at him for too long.

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**A/N **: Well, that was chapter one. Longer then the prologue, ne? xD

Now, if you liked it, I command you to click to the bottom, to the right. xD


	3. Illness

**Disclaimer **: I do not own Tsubasa, nor Horitsuba gakuen. They all belong to Clamp

Thanks to my beta reader morningstripe!**  
**

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**Chapter II: Illness**

"Oi, Fai, you all right?"

The concerned one raised his head from where it rested on his arms, watching Kurogane through tired eyes as he entered the classroom.

"Yeah, I'm just very sleepy, that's all."

Kurogane frowned, took a chair from its desk and sat in front of Fai, the teacher's desk separating them.

"You seem to have been quite sleepy these last few days. Is something wrong?"

Fai shook his head lightly, but it took all his will power not to wince at the throbbing pain in his head that had just arrived. "Not really. It must be because I've got lots of work recently," he lied as simply as that.

Kurogane's frown deepened. "Fai, are you sure?" He didn't quite believe that.

Fai gave him a reassuring smile. "Yeah, I swear."

The gym teacher sighed. He had the impression the other wasn't telling him everything. "Fine then– but promise me you'll tell me if something's wrong."

Fai hesitated for a moment, and then smiled. "Yeah, I promise."

Kurogane looked intently at the science teacher for a moment, as if the answer wasn't satisfying him, and then decided that he would accept the answer for now. He grinned and got up. "Good. I'll see you after class, okay?" As Fai nodded, he waved goodbye and left the classroom.

As soon as Kurogane was out of sight, Fai's smile turned into a wince from the pain in his head. His eyes saddened as he looked at his fingers under his desk.

His crossed fingers.

Sighing, the pain becoming a bit more bearable, he rested his head in his arms again and rested his eyes. He had been very tired for some time now, and he couldn't figure why. It was true that he had much work to do, but it wasn't as bad as he had said.

Maybe he should go see a doctor, especially for those headaches that were becoming much too frequent for his liking.

But when would he do that, especially without Kurogane knowing? Because he really couldn't tell him, not after that promise he had just made and broke.

This was so difficult, but he didn't want the gym teacher to worry about him. He didn't deserve it. The fact that he had just lied to him proved it.

The bell suddenly rang, giving him a start. Rubbing his sleepy eyes, he watched the students enter his classroom. He would have to think of a way to see a doctor another time. Now, he had a class to teach – or at least try...

* * *

Fai entered the teacher's lounge with a tired look. Rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands, he reached for the chair beside Kurogane and sat on it, doing nothing more. This simple action surprised all the staff members witness to it. Usually, Fai would come in with a cheerful expression, shouting the gym teacher's name in all sorts of twisted nicknames, and he would jump on him or try anything to embarrass him. 

But none of them said anything before the chairlady entered the room. She stopped at the sight of the exhausted Fai and blinked.

"My goodness, Fai-sensei! You look exhausted! What happened? What did Kurogane-sensei do to wear you out that much!" she exclaimed, looking almost outraged, although everyone knew she was pretending... almost.

"Hey! Why is it always my fault? I've done nothing!" snapped Kurogane to defend himself.

Fai smiled weakly at the exchange and chuckled lightly. "Kurogane did nothing, Yuuko-sensei. I've just been tired lately."

"Are you sure he didn't do anything to you?" She glared at Kurogane and he returned her expression.

"_You twisted pervert!" _Kurogane was almost tempted to say it, but did not do so. He cared for his job after all.

The science teacher shook his head slowly. "No, he has nothing to do with it. Kuro-wan has been a very good puppy."

"I am _not_a dog!" the said puppy snapped. "And my name is Ku-ro-_ga-ne_!"

The other ones around laughed. Now they were seeing the usual Fai, even though he didn't look well. Maybe nothing was wrong after all.

"If you're so tired, you really should go home and rest," someone said softly. "It would do you good, don't you think?"

Fai looked up at whom had spoken. It was Arashi, the nurse of the school. She always knew what she was saying and Fai really thought he should take her advice.

"Yeah, I'll be going soon. As soon as my dear puppy is ready." He smiled

"**Not a dog!**"

Fai laughed a little and got up. "So are we go – ooh!" A dizzy spell took over him and he put his head on his forehead, losing his balance. Kurogane got up and caught him before he fell. "Are you okay?" he asked, worried.

The science teacher smiled again. "Yeah... just got up too fast."

The gym teacher frowned, not sure, but let it go. He didn't want to talk about that in front of all the staff.

Yuuko looked at them both. "Come on, you two. Off you go. It seems that our precious science teacher really needs his rest."

Kurogane nodded and let go of Fai before pushing him lightly in front of him so they could get out of the room.

It was weird, once in the hall, not to hear the laughers of the teachers after one of the Fai-induced scenes. It made him worry even more, but again, he said nothing. Now was not the time, Fai was too tired. He would ask another time.

* * *

They arrived at the apartment and Fai didn't lose time in pulling off his shoes and getting to their room. 

Kurogane watched him go into the room with a concerned look. What the heck was happening to his lover lately? It hadn't been the first time he was exhausted because of work – although never to such an extent – and it never stopped him from his routine of _Let's tease Kurogane when he wakes up, let's humiliate him in front of the teachers, and let's not leave him alone until he goes to sleep._ He going in their room without a single word was too weird.

Sighing, he put off his shoes and joined the other teacher in the bedroom. He then saw him lying on the bed, positioned on the side, eyes closed. Kurogane reached for the bed and sat on it beside Fai. Putting a hand on the blonde's hair, he stroked it gently.

"Fai, are you sure you're alright?" he asked softly.

The concerned one nodded a little, not opening his eyes while doing so. "Yeah, just tired."

"Maybe you should take the day off, tomorrow," suggested the other.

As tempting as it sounded, Fai didn't want to worry his lover even more. "No. I'm sure that, by tomorrow, I'll be better."

"Are you really sure? Maybe you should go see a doctor too. I think this exhaustion is anything but normal."

It took Fai lots of control not to burst his eyes open in surprise. Kurogane was thinking about him seeing a doctor. Not good. Not good at all! If he did so, Kurogane would be concerned and that was the last thing he wanted.

Again, he answered in the negative, "No, I'm sure I'll be all right."

The sportsman sighed. "Fine. I'll make dinner tonight; just rest for awhile, okay?"

Fai simply nodded, his eyes still closed, and he felt Kurogane's hand leaving his hair and the man getting up. He heard the footsteps, then the door close behind him.

After he was gone, Fai turned so he could lie on his back. He then put an arm over his eyes. He didn't felt right in lying to his lover like this. But it was better this way, wasn't it?

Kurogane came back with dinner some time later. He shook the science teacher's shoulder gently. "Fai, wake up, dinner's ready."

Fai opened his eyes, slightly lost. When had he dozed off? He put the thought aside when he saw Kurogane and the dinner tray he was holding. He smiled softly. "Aww, Kuro-rin brought me dinner in bed! How sweet of him!"

The sportsman growled lightly. "Just sit up and eat, would you?"

While Fai sat up, Kurogane sat down and put the tray in front of the science teacher. Fai thanked him before starting to eat, although he had to admit he wasn't that hungry. But just so the other one wouldn't ask questions, he forced himself to eat all of his dinner.

While he ate, Fai looked at Kurogane, who was watching him. "Aren't you going to eat something?" he asked, wondering why Kurogane hadn't brought something for himself.

"I already ate," answered the gym teacher simply. "I didn't want to wake you up as soon as dinner was ready."

Fai chuckled. "Aww, you care about me! That's so sweet!"

Kurogane rolled his eyes and sighed. "Are you finished yet?"

"Hmm-hmm." The science teacher handed his tray and Kurogane took it before leaving the room.

Feeling a bit rested and in the need of teasing his lover, Fai got up and got out of the room silently. On tiptoe, he placed himself behind the gym teacher who was concentrating on doing the dishes. He waited that Kurogane wasn't holding anything dangerous and then snuggled up to Kurogane, placing his arms around his waist. The latter started and dropped what seemed to be a plastic glass.

"What the hell?" he exclaimed, looking behind him. "What are you doing? Imagine if I had something breakable in my hands! What would you have done?"

"Silly Kuro-chan! That's why I waited that you had nothing that could hurt you before hugging you!" Fai answered, smiling innocently.

Kurogane growled. "You moron," he muttered before returning to the dishes he was washing. But, inside of him, he was actually glad that Fai was teasing him like that. It meant that maybe he wasn't that unwell after all. Sighing silently in relief, he finished what he was doing and turned to face his lover. "Weren't you the one who was so tired today?"

"Hmm? I guess the nap helped. I'm feeling better now." He reached for the sportsman's lips before kissing them.

"Well, that's good then," said the latter, returning the kiss.

When they broke apart though, Fai couldn't help himself and yawned. Even though he had felt like teasing his lover, he was still tired. "But still, I guess a good night of sleep won't be a nuisance either."

Kurogane smiled one of his rare gentle smiles, "Then go off to bed you idiot."

"Yes, daddy!" answered Fai, and he went to the room, giggling. Kurogane looked dim-witted for a moment. _Daddy_? That sounded weird...

He shook his head vividly, put away the dishes, and got to their room to join Fai. The latter was back in bed, lying on his back. Kurogane came to the bed and sat on the other side of it, legs in front of him, back resting on the wall.

Sensing that his beloved had come to sit near him, Fai sat up a bit and snuggled up to him, his head resting on the other's torso. The gym teacher wrapped his arms protectively around him and stroked his hair.

"Ah, I just remembered. Tomoyo invited me to her house Saturday. Do you want to come?"

Fai made no signs of it, but inside of him, he was screaming with joy. If Kurogane's cousin was inviting him over, he was sure to not get out before late in the evening. That was the perfect opportunity to go see a doctor without the other knowing.

"I would really like to, but I'll have exams to correct all day, and I really want to do them this weekend, Saturday if possible."

"Are you sure?"

Fai nodded. '_Come on, Kuro-chi! Accept this answer!'_ he thought.

The sportsman sighed. "Fine, then– I'll tell Tomoyo you won't be coming."

"Tell her sorry for me, too. It's always nice to go to her house." Fai yawned again and snuggled closer to Kurogane. "And now, I say goodnight."

The latter laughed a little. "Yeah, goodnight."

* * *

Fai was waiting patiently, sitting in one of the many white chairs. Other people were sitting in the same vast room. He watched mostly the people getting up and going to different rooms or the people that passed in the halls, may they wear normal clothes, white jacket or white dresses. 

He was in the waiting room of the hospital, waiting for his turn. After the last time all the teachers had noticed his exhaustion, he had had headaches even more frequently and painful, but, fortunately, he had managed to hide them. He had acted very well, too, since no one had seemed to notice his tiredness either – tiredness that was augmenting, too.

Now that Kurogane was at his cousin's house, he had managed to get to the hospital without a hitch.

Sighing, he looked at the number he was holding, the number that represented his turn. He didn't felt quite right in not saying anything to Kurogane, but he didn't want him to worry, nor be hurt because _he_ was hurt. Why was it always so difficult?

"Number 43, the doctor will see you now."

Looking at his ticket, Fai noticed the 43 on it and got up. It was finally his turn.

He headed for the hall at his right and arrived in front of the fourth door. He knocked lightly on it and entered. The room behind it was quite simple and typical for a hospital room. There was a metal table, lots of cabinets where medicines and objects were in. There was also the doctor's desk and lots of papers and pens on it.

A nurse was waiting inside, writing something on a clipboard she was holding. Seeing Fai enter, she smiled softly. "Hello."

Fai only smiled in answer and came forward. She tended the clipboard to him. "You just have to sit on the table and fill this out. The doctor will be here shortly."

The science teacher nodded and took the clipboard before sitting down. He started to fill the sheet before him with things like his name, age, and others. When he finally finished, the doctor entered in the room. He was a tall man who could've been in the fifties or so. He had a moustache and seemed like a serene person.

He took the clipboard from Fai's hands and looked at it for a moment before looking back at his patient with a calm smile. "So, what seems to be the problem, Flowright-san?"

"Well, these days, I've got frequent headaches and the pain isn't quite bearable." answered the latter.

"Headaches, you say? Hmm... Are you stressed out these days or is there anything unusual these days that could make you stress?"

Fai thought for a moment. "No, not that I can think of. There's school and the students, but it's not a rough period, so..."

"Hum. You're sure? And nothing unusual in your personal life either?" asked the doctor, starting to walk around the room.

Fai shook his head, but soon winced. That hadn't helped his head.

The doctor seemed to notice since he came back to where Fai was sitting. "Does your head hurt now?" he asked.

Fai sighed. "Yes, but not that much compared to some headaches I've had during the previous days."

The doctor frowned and started walking again. "And was there anything else than those headaches?"

"Actually, yes," answered Fai. "I sometime see double or blurry. And once, I think yesterday, I'm sure I almost fainted."

"_I was lucky Kurogane wasn't there to see that, though,"_ he thought. "Oh, and I noticed also that my headaches are worst in the morning than in the afternoon," he added.

The doctor came back in front of Fai "Do you, by any chance, have a lack of appetite these days too?"

Fai was surprised. "Hum... yes, how did you know?"

"It's a common thing for certain diseases. What about your sleep? Do you have difficulties falling asleep?"

Fai shook his head. "Actually, no. I'm more tired these days and I think I actually sleep a bit more."

"_And, unfortunately, Kurogane has noticed that."_

The doctor had gone to sit at his desk and he started writing something down.

"Flowright-san, what I'm going to tell you may not be good, but keep in mind that I'm not sure at all and that's why I'm sending you to some tests."

Fai knit his eyebrows. "What do you think is wrong with me?"

The doctor lifted his head to look at Fai. "There's the possibility that you might have a brain tumour."

* * *

Trembling, Fai closed the door of the apartment behind him. His legs couldn't keep him up any longer and he fell on the floor. 

A brain tumour... He may have a brain tumour...

Looking with trembling eyes at the apartment, Fai was relieved to see that Kurogane hadn't come back yet. He was lucky that his cousin always kept him until late in the day when he was visiting them.

Bringing his knees to his chest, he lowered his head so his forehead was resting on his knees. He was shaking even more now, and he was afraid, very afraid.

If he really did have a tumour, there was a chance that he would lose everything, that he would lose Kurogane, that he would die...

And that made his heart ache so painfully, even more then his headaches did.

And if he really had this illness, he would have to tell Kurogane, no? But... to tell him... that would make him worry, that would hurt him so much, that would even devastate him.

A tear made its way down Fai's cheek. All those thoughts were so scary, so painful!

He wiped it quickly with the back of his hand. No! He couldn't let himself be taken over by fear and pain yet. The doctor had said it wasn't sure, that's why he had to take tests soon, to be sure.

But how was he going to go without Kurogane knowing?

And an idea hit him. But, for that, he would have to tell a bit of the truth.

* * *

**A/N :** And here you go, chapter two is done.  
Am I cruel with Fai or what... -.- Seriously, poor him...  
Well, I'll try to update as soon as I can, but I can't garantee anything since school starts monday for me (ugh!)  
See you next time!  



	4. Will I?

**Disclaimer **: I do not own Tsubasa, nor Horitsuba gakuen. They all belong to Clamp

Thanks to my beta reader morningstripe!**  
**

* * *

**Chapter III: Will I?**

The phone rang suddenly, giving him start. He was on his feet quickly and, after taking a deep breath to steady himself, he answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"You're finally answering! I've been trying to reach you for almost half an hour! Where were you? I thought you were supposed to correct exams all day?"

Great... It _had_ to be Kurogane–– just what he needed right now, right after the bad news.

Thinking quickly of something to answer, he said in a whiny tone, "Aww, Kuro-rin, don't yell. It hurts my ears."

"The hell I won't yell! I was worried! Especially since your cell phone was off–– you never turn it off!"

That was true. Fai never turned it off so Kurogane could always reach him. But it had been off today, not wanting the latter to learn where he had been.

"Now I'll ask again: where were you?"

"I went to take a walk."

Which wasn't that much of a lie since he had to go to the hospital on bus, which he had to walk some time to get to.

Kurogane seemed taken aback for a second. "You what?" he asked, still confused.

"I went to take a walk. I had to take a break from correcting, I was getting a headache."

Again, half-truth. He did have a headache, but not for that reason. Although why he bothered to tell half the truth, he didn't know. Maybe it was because it made him feel a bit better in all the other lies he told and he would have to tell.

On second thought, maybe not.

"You went to take a walk," repeated Kurogane slowly, still not sure if it was true or not. "Then why was your cell phone off?"

"Because, first of all, I forgot it at home." Now that was the truth. "And, second, I guess I turned it off once–– don't know when–– and forgot to turn it back on. It happens, you know."

"I –" He sighed heavily. "Ugh, sorry, I guess I got carried away."

_"You guess?"_ Fai was tempted to say, but he stopped before he did and said instead, "It's so sweet of you to worry so much, Kuro-chi, but remember that I promised you I would tell you if something was wrong. You don't have to be concerned that much!"

Oh great! Now he remembered his promise. Great job, Fai! That was a nice move! Although... remembering his plan, this wasn't such a bad idea after all. He would need it in a certain way.

The other sighed again, "Yeah, I guess you're right. Anyways, I was calling to tell you I wouldn't be back for diner. My sister's kidnapping me... again."

Fai giggled. "That isn't much of a surprise, Kuro-koi!"

"Yeah, I know. Well, see you tonight–– if she ever lets me go..."

The science teacher laughed again. "Yeah, see you tonight puppy!"

"Not a dog!"

Fai hung up with a smile, but it soon disappeared at the recalled memories he had forgotten just for a second.

"Kuro-chi... I'm so sorry. But I don't want you to get hurt," he whispered to himself, walking into the bedroom. The bad news was a weight on his shoulders and was giving him heartache as powerful as his now renewed headache. He really needed to sleep.

He fell on the bed and, not bothering to take out his clothes, fell asleep soon enough.

* * *

"Fai? Fai! Hey, you idiot, wake up!"

With a growl, the science teacher cracked an eye open to see Kurogane shaking his shoulder. "What is it, Kuro-chi?" he asked in a raspy voice.

"It's almost time to get to school. You'll be late if you don't get up. Come on!"

With that, the gym teacher left the room to finish breakfast.

Hum... so it was Monday. Monday... There was something about this day that he had to remember, but it was hard with this headache.

Headache... Oh! It was his appointment at the hospital. He would have to use his plan so he would not have to go to school. This way, Kurogane wouldn't know about anything.

His plan was simple. This morning, he wouldn't fake a cheerful mood, but simply tell the truth about one thing: he was oh-so-tired. This way, he would tell he would take the day off.

And what if Kurogane called while he was gone? He could just pretend he was sleeping at that moment and that he hadn't heard the phone at all. It was as simple as that.

This plan meant also one thing: he would kill two birds with one stone since Kurogane would believe he was taking the promise seriously.

This thought made his heart ache a little. He hated the idea of fooling his lover like that, but he had no choice.

When he got up slowly to put his plan in action, he growled in pain at the pounding in his head. It was like someone was playing drum very loudly in it. He took a minute to try and calm it, with a little success, than got up and got out of the room.

Rubbing his eyes, still not changed, he sat at the table. "Morning," he muttered.

Kurogane turned to him and frowned. "You're not even changed? I said you were going to be la––" He cut his sentence when he finally realised how tired Fai looked. "Are you okay? You look like hell!" he said, sounding concerned.

Hearing him so worried pained him, but he had to do it. "Thanks for the comparison." He placed his head in one hand and looked at the food before him. "I'm tired, it's all," he moaned, picking up his fork to eat the eggs in front of him. But he ended up more in poking at them than eating them.

Kurogane, at that sight, frowned. "I hope you're not planning in working today, then."

Fai shook his head slowly and did everything not to wince at the pain. "Not really," he answered tiredly.

The gym teacher's frown deepened, and he placed a hand on Fai's forehead. "Good, you don't seem to have a fever."

The science teacher cursed lightly. Kurogane was getting more worried than expected and he knew why: it wasn't normal for him to be so truthful. Usually, he would hide most of his pain. The fact that now he wasn't (well, he still was, but Kurogane didn't know that) made the sportsman worry that it was something worse than just exhaustion.

"Are you sure you're just tired?" he finally asked. "Would you prefer if I called a doctor?"

Fai did his best not to answer with a panicked "No". A doctor here would mean Kurogane would eventually learn what was going on with him.

"No, I'll be okay. I swear that by the end of the day, I'll feel better. I just need a whole day of sleep."

Kurogane wasn't sure at first, but, for once, he seemed satisfied of the answer. He was actually glad that Fai had told him how he felt instead of hiding his pain. He roughed up Fai's hair. "Okay, then. I'll be going now, but if you're feeling worse, call me at school, all right?"

The science teacher nodded slightly and, when the other left the apartment, he pushed his plate aside and rested his head on the wood of the table. A rush of guilt took over him and he sighed heavily.

After a moment, taking a moment to get use to his constant headache, he got up, carried his plate into the kitchen and went to change himself, so he could also exit the apartment. He had tests to take, and he was wishing really hard that they wouldn't detect anything serious, or should he say anything at all!

* * *

"Flowright-san?"

Fai raised his head to see the same doctor who had took care of him last time enter.

He was back in a simple examining room, the tests to detect if he really had a tumour had passed rather quickly. They had said to him, after that, to come and wait in here until someone, in that occurrence the man who was standing in front of him, came to tell him about the results.

The expression on the doctor's face was partially unclear, since he wore mostly a professional expression. However, Fai had the bad feeling that he could see something that looked like a grim face.

"So?" He asked in a low tone, not daring to speak too loud in fear of hearing it shaking. He had become worried since the other man had entered.

The doctor sighed heavily and looked at Fai in the eyes. "Flowright-san, I will be direct. The suspicions I had last time are grounded."

The science teacher's eyes grew wide in horror. The news tried to infiltrate his brain, but the latter seemed to want to stop them, as if it were a vile virus. Although this thought was pretty ironic since he had, apparently, already a vile virus at that precise spot.

He placed his hand on his forehead, still not believing his ears. No... It couldn't be possible, it wasn't true! This doctor was lying; all he wanted was to scare him to death, which was working wonderfully.

And yet, something in the doctor's expression got rid of all those thoughts and Fai was forced to face reality.

He really had a tumour...

He buried this time his head in his hands, but he didn't cry, nor was he shaking. His breathing, on the other hand, was jerky and his heart tightened as if a fist had taken a hold of it and wouldn't let it go.

What was he going to do?

What was he going to say to Kurogane?

The only thought of seeing his lover's face breaking down with sadness at the news and at the semi-lies that Fai had told him broke his heart completely. He retained his tears who, this time, wanted to escape from his eyes.

No, he couldn't resolve to tell him. It was too much, way too much for him.

He then felt a hand on his shoulder and he raised his head to see the doctor before him.

"Does it hurt anywhere?" he asked.

The science teacher looked away. "My head hurts," he answered softly.

The man handed him a small bottle, its content knocking together inside it. Fai tended an almost trembling hand and took what was handed to him.

"They're powerful pain-killers. They should be able to attenuate your headaches. You must take two every morning and evening, or when the pain is too unbearable."

Fai thanked him, and then opened the bottle to take two pills contained inside. He searched for a drinking fountain, but the doctor handed him a cup of water. Fai took it before swallowing the pills he was holding in his hand. He then lay down the cup beside him only to go back in his gloomy thoughts that were either announcing the bad news to Kurogane or continue to lie to him.

"You know, Flowright-san..."

Fai started. He hadn't expected at all that the doctor would speak to him. In fact, he had totally forgotten about the other's presence.

"Yes?" he asked, almost in a murmur.

"I know that what you're facing right now is really hard."

_"Well... you must just know half of it for me..."_

"You are certainly not the first one to who I announce this." Fai gave a bitter smile at this. The poor people... he understood very well their suffering. Although... he didn't know and didn't think that they had to hide it from their important person, like him...

"But we have people available to help you," continued the doctor. "I'm sure that one of our psychologists would be glad to help you."

Psychologist? That word didn't sound well in his ears. It was far from an idea that was pleasing him. Relate his emotions to someone he knew was already very difficult, how could he do it with a total stranger...?

"Thank you, it's really nice to suggest, but I'll decline the offer. It's going to be all right, I'm sure."

The doctor frowned lightly, but didn't insist. He couldn't force him, anyway...

Fai lowered his gaze, his thoughts returning immediately to Kurogane. He couldn't concentrate on anything else then this unbearable pain that was tightening his heart, pain that would certainly attack the gym teacher when he would learn everything.

The doctor again got him out of his torpor. "Flowright-san, we should speak about the treatments you will have to follow."

Treatments? A shiver of panic travelled through his back. Treatments he would have to follow? How... how was he going to do it without Kurogane getting suspicious?

It was just impossible...

He did everything not to raise a terrified look to the doctor. The latter continued, "It's evident that the better solution would be a treatment in the United States."

In the United-States? He almost had the taste to let escape a joyless laugh. He certainly had not the money for that!

Hmm... on second thought, he could have the money. He was certain that Kurogane's sister would give him everything he needed for that if he asked. She had the biggest toy company in all Japan, after all!

But confessing everything would mean that Kurogane would learn everything too, and that was out of the question. Fai was too afraid he would worry, especially since his chances of surviving were... how much, anyway?

"If I ever came to get the surgery," he asked, looking away, "what would be my chances of survival?"

The doctor sighed. "The chances are of fifty-fifty."

The science teacher gave a bitter smile. He had a one out of two chance of dying. And really, even though they were equal, he had the impression that the one of death had more magnitude then the one of survival.

"Unfortunately, I don't think that a treatment in the United-States will be possible," he finally said to the doctor.

The latter nodded. "I understand. But still try to look if there could be a way, it's really important. Your chances of survival could turn out to be much greater with a treatment there."

"I'll see," murmured Fai.

"Until then, a follow-up would be the best. To see if the medicine are working, if we have to increase the dosage, and everything else."

Fai got up and smiled to the doctor. "I understand. I guess I must take an appointment, then?"

The latter frowned at the sudden change of attitude in his patient. "Erh yes..." He went to his desk, wrote something on a piece of paper before handing it to Fai. "Go and pick up those prescriptions. They are to take in a constant way as indicated on the bottles."

The science teacher nodded. "All right. Thank you very much, doctor."  
And, without further ado, Fai left the room.

* * *

When Kurogane entered the apartment, Fai was sound asleep in their room. He had hidden all the medicines earlier in the bag he always brought at school, since he knew Kurogane would never look in it. And anyway, it was more careful this way, since he would be able to take them if he had another headache while being at school.

The gym teacher entered the room and a half-smile came to his lips at the view offered before him. He went to sit on the bed, beside the sleeping form, resting a hand on his head to caress the golden blond hair. But, once his hand was on the other's hair, Fai opened his still tired eyes.

"Kuro-sama?" He yawned and rubbed his eyes, like a cat would have done. "You're already back?"

"School's over. Did you sleep all this time?"

The blond nodded slowly. "Yeah, and it benefited a lot. I feel much better."  
And, for once, it was totally true. The medicines must have worked while he had slept and, for the first time since a good time, he felt perfectly great. Or almost... he still felt a bit tired, but it was tolerable.

He sat up in the bed and wrapped his arm around Kurogane's neck. "So, did you have a good day?"

"Ugh! All your fans that are your students went to bury me with questions about you! And also..." He got out of his bag several boxes, "... with lots of chocolates for you. You will do me the pleasure of telling them I'm not your fetching dog!"

He laughed. "But... Kuro-wanwan…"

"_Not_ your dog!"

He looked at the clock and noticed it would soon be time to eat. While Fai was opening a box and stealing a chocolate from it, he was about to get up and prepare dinner, but Fai stopped him, smile on his lips.

"Tonight, I'm the one who's making dinner, okay?"

Kurogane frowned. "Are you sure? Do you feel okay enough for that?"

Fai's smile widened. "I told you, I'm in a perfect shape!"

"Humph... Fine then."

And, getting up, Fai went out of the room to prepare dinner. Kurogane, thinking that Fai wouldn't see him, opened the box a little, wanting to at least taste one of the chocolates, even though he wasn't much one for sweets.

"And no touching at my chocolates!" he heard Fai say from the kitchen.

Growling, he let go of the box and left the room.

* * *

**A/N : **Well, here's chapter 3. I hope you enjoyed!  
Chapter 4 is already written in french, I don't how much time I'll take to translate it though... let's hope not too much, will depend with school work.

Anyways, tell me what you think!


	5. Wish Upon A Star

**Disclaimer **: I do not own Tsubasa, nor Horitsuba gakuen. They all belong to Clamp

Thanks to my beta reader morningstripe!**  
**

* * *

**Chapter IV: Wish Upon A Star**

There was a knock on the office door. The woman inside, absorbed in her work, didn't even look up as she called, "Enter!"

The door clicked and opened. The blond man slipped inside, closing the door behind him.

"Yuuko-sensei?"

The woman lifted her head and smiled at the man standing in front of her. "Fai-sensei. To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

However, she frowned at the serious look on Fai's face. Seeing that her young employee wasn't moving, she gestured to the vacant chair in front of her desk. "Why don't you take a seat, Fai-san?"

Her soft and worried tone snapped the science teacher out of his torpor. The change of suffix hadn't escaped him either. Doing so, she was showing him that she had understood that their conversation would be anything but professional.

He nodded at the suggestion and sat in the vacant chair. He opened his mouth to speak, but wasn't able to find the words, or rather, they were caught in his throat, unable to come out. So, he closed his mouth and lowered his gaze, searching for how he could start the conversation.

Feeling the discomfort of his employee, she put her papers aside, folded her hands on top of her desk, and looked at him with the same worried look.

"I have the impression that you have something important to ask me, don't you, Fai?"

He nodded slowly, still not daring to look up. "It's a really big service, actually. But... before asking you, I have to tell you what happened recently and... it's not easy for me."

To see the young teacher in this state worried the chairlady even more. It was rare to not see him smile or play around like mad among the teachers, especially with Kurogane. To see him in a grief state like that and, especially, that he was admitting it, even though just a little, was alarming.

She gave him an encouraging smile. "I'm listening. Take your time."

He smiled bitterly, much to Yuuko's surprise. He looked at her with eyes full of so much sadness and pain that she did all she could to keep a straight face, to not get up and give him a hug.

"I...advise you first to hang on tight on the chair, because what I'm about to say might shock you..."

She gave him a half-smile. "Oh, I've heard many, it should be all right."

He looked away a moment, muttering, "If you say so." Then, he looked at her again, this time with eyes that seemed more determined. He took a breath before letting, this time, the words go.

"Yuuko-san, I... I have a brain tumour..."

She clapped a hand over her mouth so as to prevent herself to let out a cry. She took back what she had said: it wasn't that all right. To learn that her favourite employee had cancer...

"Fa... Fai-san…" She did everything to hold on to the tears that wanted to come out of her eyes. This news shocked her so much...

Seeing her like this, the science teacher lowered his head, shameful of worrying his headmistress like that. "I... I shouldn't have told you, on second thought..."

"No!" This time, she got up, turned around her desk and knelt beside Fai so she could see his eyes. She placed her hand on the blond's shoulder. "Fai, it's okay that you told me! I'm simply sad to learn this, I'm worried about you!"

He avoided Yuuko's gaze and muttered, "Exactly my point..."

Remembering that her employee was one that had difficulties confessing his pain, she had a moment of panic, a moment that she only showed by frowning and asking, "Fai... does Kurogane knows about this?"

Fai turned his head, doing all he could not to meet Yuuko's gaze. The latter insisted. "Fai, tell me Kurogane knows about this! He should have been the first person who you would have told to!"

This time, even though he kept his head lowered, he murmured, "It's exactly where my service takes office..."

She looked at him with a saddened and disapproved face. "You don't have any intention in telling him, am I right?"

He shook his head lightly, still not daring looking at her. "I... I don't want to hurt him... I don't want him to worry for me… I, who am nothing at all…"

"Fai, don't say that!" She tightened her hold on the blonde's shoulder. "You have to tell Kurogane! Don't you think that the fact you didn't tell him will hurt him more? Especially if he learns it from someone else!"

"I know that!" He finally looked back at Yuuko with watered eyes. "I debated a lot on that, but I couldn't resolve myself in telling him! Just to imagine his pained eyes hurts me very much and prevent myself in telling everything! I don't want him to ever learn that! Or at least, not now... I still don't feel ready."

He buried his face in his hands, his body seized with sobs.

Seeing him like this broke the chairlady's heart and she couldn't insist any further on the matter. She sighed softly.

"So, what is this service you want me to give you."  
He raised his head a little, but still didn't look at Yuuko. "I... I must go to the hospital regularly to do several tests. But, if I go out too much without any reason, Kurogane's going to be suspicious..."

"So you want me to cover you?" she finished for him.

He looked at her again and nodded slowly.

She sighed and turned to her desk again, before placing herself in front of the window. Looking vaguely outside, she said, "Fine... But to do that, you will have to promise me something."

Fai winced, he should have known. "Yes?"

She looked at him again and continued, "You will have to report to me every time everything that was said about your state, at each visit at the hospital. I want to know if your state is stable or if it is worsening, am I clear?"

"Yuu...Yuuko-san! You don't have to do that! I'm not worth being worried about!"

"Fai!"

Her tone stopped him. She looked at him with a gaze as stern and cold as any he'd ever seen, which made him feel very little. "Someone must know how you're doing, if you're doing better or worse. You can't keep that to yourself! It would destroy you even faster! And since you refuse to tell Kurogane anything, I'll see to it." Her gaze softened. "Because I care for you..."

Ill at ease, he nodded at the request. "Okay..."

She sat on her chair and crossed her hands, giving Fai a small smile. "Good. I think you have a class to give soon, no? Go before being late!"

He nodded again, got up and bowed a little. "Thank you very much, Yuuko-sensei."

"You're welcome. But don't forget! I want all the reports!"

He nodded. "I won't forget." Then he left the office.

Yuuko sighed and turned around to look outside. "Kurogane... take good care of him... And please, notice something!"

* * *

"Kuro-chi, can I remove the blindfold, now?"

"No. But we're almost there, so be patient!"

"But it has already been an hour that we're in the car! I'm tiiired..."

"I told you to be patient, goddamn it!"

Fai crossed his arms and pouted, turning his head on the side he thought was opposed to Kurogane. It was like that since they had departed. Fai smiled lightly at the thought of what had happened earlier.

_Calmly reading a book on the sofa, everything suddenly blackened around him. Lifting his head, frantically moving his head from left to right, he still saw nothing but black._

_He started panicking, breath becoming jerky; he wondered if it wasn't another side effect of his tumour... He opened his mouth, almost wanting to scream for help to Kurogane, but thought better of it at the last second. It wasn't a good idea, it would only alarm him. And, at the end, Kurogane would wonder why he was panicking like that and he would maybe have to tell him everything._

_Really bad idea..._

_But... if he was becoming blind... it was something he wouldn't be able to hide..._

_Oh no..._

_He then felt a knock on his head; someone had just hit him._

"_Baka! I only put on a blindfold! No need to panic! Calm down so I can finish tying it as it should."_

_Realising that he indeed felt the fabric on his skin, he calmed down and started laughing. He shouldn't have panicked like that, he'd almost sold himself._

"_Kuro-sama? Why are you blindfolding me?" He tried to turn his head behind him so he could face Kurogane, but the latter held his head firmly in place so he could finish tying the fabric._

"_I told you not to move until I'm not finished!"_

_So he waited for the gym teacher to finish, and then turned his head for good this time. "But you didn't answer my question! Why are you blindfolding me?"_

"_I can't tell you much, but what I can tell you is that it's a surprise."_

"_For me? But... why?" _

_He sighed. "It seems it's your turn to forget. Tell me, what day is this?"_

_Oh, that was right! They'd been together for a year today!_

_Actually, Fai hadn't really forgotten. He had given his gift to Kurogane earlier. He only just had forgotten at the moment, especially in his moment of panic._

"_Okay. I'll follow you." He handed his hand so Kurogane could take it and guide him. He guided him outside to their new car–– a car they both had judged would be useful–– and traveled during a good hour._

Fai felt the car slowing down and heard gravel underneath them. They must have been on a dirt road. Where the heck was Kurogane bringing him?

Finally, the car stopped and Fai was able to hear Kurogane taking off the seatbelt. He then put his hands behind his head so he could take off the blindfold, but Kurogane stopped him.

"Not yet. Wait just a little more. I'm coming back in a minute."

Fai sighed while the sportsman got out of the car and he heard his steps growing more distant. Listening to the noises coming from outside, he heard the sound of the wind in the trees, the crickets and the footsteps of the people coming and going on the ground a bit further away.

"Where did he bring me?" he murmured for himself, getting impatient, wanting to remove the fabric soon.

Especially since it seemed to be dark, outside–– he was able to determine that much, even though the fabric was really tight around his eyes.

The gym teacher finally came back to the car, but to Fai's side. "Come on, take off your seatbelt and come with me!"

Fai did as asked and took Kurogane's hand so that he might be guided They walked for a moment on dirt and rocks, then, all of a sudden, the dirt became grass.

Were they near the forest?

Listening around him, it seemed that there were some people around them. They didn't seem to be near the forest, on second thought, but rather on a field.

"Kuro-chi?"

The latter had stopped, making the blond stop, as well. He then put his hands behind Fai's head and took off the blindfold.

"Surprise!" He murmured in Fai's ear.

When the fabric was removed, Fai wasn't able to hold the dazed exclamation that came out of his mouth while looking where they were.

They were in a small field where people were lying on the ground, looking at the sky...

A sky as dark as ink, a sky full of white little dots, everywhere around them, white dots that were shining intently all as much as one another, as if they wanted to shout, "Look at me, I'm the brightest!", white dots that were the stars of the night, the little suns so far from Earth. There wasn't any light near them, which was perfect to look at the stars in all their glory, and also the Milky Way and the numerous tiny dots that they wouldn't normally see in town.

"Kuro-tan..." murmured Fai, still gaping and surprised.

The latter gave a half-smile. "They say that it's a great time for shooting stars, lately. We should see a lot. I thought you would like it."

"Kuro-chi, it's amazing!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms about his neck. Some people looked at them, but neither of them gave it a thought. They were accustomed, anyway.

Kurogane took Fai's hand and led him. "Come on, we have shooting stars to observe."

They installed themselves a bit further away so they could observe the stars above them in comfort. Fai snuggled against the sportsman and the latter wrapped his arm around the science teacher.

They stayed like that for a good moment, watching out for the movements in the sky, waiting for the shooting stars to fall, a wish on the edge of their lips, ready to go through them silently when the first star would be in sight.

And finally, their first wish was granted: in the sky, almost in an explosion, a star as red as blood crossed the sky in all its majesty, letting a shiny wildfire as reddish. There were "Oh!"s and "Ah!"s among the people around them, but Kurogane and Fai stayed silence, both of them taken in the formulation of their silent wish.

And for that matter, they both looked alike.

_I wish for Kurogane to always be happy!_

_I wish that Fai will be happy forever!_

Then, the night went on, and both of them didn't move much, only to change position because of the lack of blood circulation in one of their limbs. The more the evening passed, the more the shooting stars crossed the sky. It was becoming a real shower!

And, the more the evening went on, the more Fai's wish were changing. He never kept the same one. He had so much to wish for!

"_I wish that... I wish that... that Kurogane never learns anything about my state, or my pain. I wish that he never has to suffer by this news, that he'll always be happy. Anyways, he will surely be more once I'll be gone... Once I won't be there to bother him."_

But unfortunately, it was becoming hard to hide everything to the gym teacher. The latter was starting to have doubts, even though Yuuko was covering for him every time. But that was the problem. Yuuko seemed to ask for Fai too much for the last two months. Too much for a simple employee... Something was up. He didn't know what, but he knew something was going on.

And Fai knew that Kurogane had doubts. He had to do something so the gym teacher would stop having those doubts.

But how? Because, once his lover was suspecting something, he wasn't one to let go easily.

Then, his previous thoughts came back to him. "_Anyways, he will surely be more once I'll be gone... Once I won't be there to bother him."_

The answer was there...

Oh no, he wouldn't die right now, if he could avoid it! No...

The solution saddened him and made him die in despair, but he didn't see any other solution.

He had to stop being with Kurogane.

Because, once they would be apart, he wouldn't care anymore of what would happen to Fai and, once the latter died, it would certainly not bother him.

Fai shivered. He didn't like the idea of hurting Kurogane by breaking up with him, but he didn't have a choice... For the sake of his lover.

Looking at the sky, he gave a bitter smile and it was by a hair's breadth that he prevented the tears from falling down his cheeks. Kurogane had taken the time to make him such a beautiful gift... And he was wasting everything, all because of this stupid illness...

But he didn't have a choice...

Another shooting star crossed the sky and Fai silently pronounced his last wish, "_I wish that, once I've broken up with him, Kurogane will ignore me for the rest of his life and that he won't be touched by my death..."_

He shivered again and, this time, Kurogane noticed. "Are you cold?" he asked.

Covering his eyes, he nodded slowly. So, Kurogane looked at his watch and declared, "We should go, it's starting to get late."

He got up and, helping Fai to do the same, they got to the car.

"So?" said Kurogane. "Made a lot of wishes?"

Fai only nodded. The gym teacher continued. "Can I hear some of them?"

The science teacher laughed and smiled to him. "Kuro-sama, if I told you, they wouldn't come true!"

"Pfft... Those stories are nonsense!"

"Okay, then! What did Kuro-tan wished for?"

He looked away, pink starting to appear on his cheeks. "That you'll always be happy. But I doubt that, because I said it, it won't come true!"

"Aww, Kuro-sama's so nice tonight!"

"Shut up!"

The gym teacher kissed his lover and the latter answered right away. And, while answering the kiss, Fai couldn't think anything but "_Maybe you shouldn't have said that, Kurogane... Maybe you shouldn't have said that..."_

* * *

**A/N: **So chapter four is finally done!  
I guess some people aren't happy with Fai's thoughts... I know Kurogane wouldn't... poor Kuro.

Anyways, I hope you liked it, and I'm very sorry if it took time, last school semester was more than hard...gah.


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